change
read this : http://www.thesimpleway.org/resources/details/50-ways-to-become-the-answer-to-our-prayers/.
I did. And while I knew it was a call to change, I kept checking off all the things I already do. I hate that somehow, in my mind, the few things on that list I have done or do, like laughing at advertisements or writing someone in prison, seem to justify my fears of actually sacrificing something to make a difference. Here, at this point in my life, when I have all the time in the world, I read that list and check off the things I did at school without thinking of the things I could do here and now, in my lonely existence. I know full well that my sadness and my loneliness have to do with having nothing to be passionate at the moment, having nothing to keep me in love with the world. And yet, I don't know how I can adapt the list of simple, radical living, to inspire me today to make a difference. I'm not sure how I can be the answer to prayers in this place while I continue to leave time free to secure my own hopes and prayers. I feel like I'm justifying my inactivity, but it's true that I need money to pay for school and so I need to be available to work. And yet, I have no work, no commitments, and still I do nothing. Today I will meet with someone at Sam's Place about volunteering there. It's something small, but hopefully it is the beginning of something large enough to fill me with passion once again.
I did. And while I knew it was a call to change, I kept checking off all the things I already do. I hate that somehow, in my mind, the few things on that list I have done or do, like laughing at advertisements or writing someone in prison, seem to justify my fears of actually sacrificing something to make a difference. Here, at this point in my life, when I have all the time in the world, I read that list and check off the things I did at school without thinking of the things I could do here and now, in my lonely existence. I know full well that my sadness and my loneliness have to do with having nothing to be passionate at the moment, having nothing to keep me in love with the world. And yet, I don't know how I can adapt the list of simple, radical living, to inspire me today to make a difference. I'm not sure how I can be the answer to prayers in this place while I continue to leave time free to secure my own hopes and prayers. I feel like I'm justifying my inactivity, but it's true that I need money to pay for school and so I need to be available to work. And yet, I have no work, no commitments, and still I do nothing. Today I will meet with someone at Sam's Place about volunteering there. It's something small, but hopefully it is the beginning of something large enough to fill me with passion once again.
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