men

I love the girls in my life. They are amazing. Meg and Grace complete me. With bits of Jamila, Aly, Amy, and Melanie thrown in. But somehow, I always approach the male gender with the expectation of more. I can’t simply decide to develop friendships with them. And I hate that about me. I am content as a single woman with amazing friends. But I always approach men like they are meat at the dealers. Like I could purchase a future mate. When really, I just want good companionship. But at some level society has taught me, or maybe it’s simply my nature, there is going to be a man out there for me. And I can’t help but look for him. And it drives me crazy. Because it’s always running through the back of my head. And I’m not sure if that’s wrong or not.
“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the swift gazelles and the deer of the wild, not to awaken love until the time is right.”

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Reflection on Mothering

The second Sunday of May. May 13, 2012. International Mothers Day. My planner tells me it is celebrated in USA, CAN, AUS, NZL. Very international. (note the sarcasm).  I have noticed mother's day come and go several times. I pride myself on never forgetting the culturally mandatory, and always rewarding, phone call to my mother, even when she is across the globe. Often I call my grandmother and single aunt as well - they too have been mothers in my life.  This year, however, I was struck by how Mother's Day, with it's focus on gift giving and flowers designed both to empower the economy and praise feminine domesticity, losses sight of the character of mothering.  I celebrated Mother's Day with "The House of Peace," a church community run through Fourth Street Community Fellowship (Virginia Mennonite Conference) for the impoverished and homeless of inner city Washington, D.C. In honor of thee occasion, Rev. Sang Jin Choi asked members to share test...
Read more

change

read this : http://www.thesimpleway.org/resources/details/50-ways-to-become-the-answer-to-our-prayers/. I did. And while I knew it was a call to change, I kept checking off all the things I already do. I hate that somehow, in my mind, the few things on that list I have done or do, like laughing at advertisements or writing someone in prison, seem to justify my fears of actually sacrificing something to make a difference. Here, at this point in my life, when I have all the time in the world, I read that list and check off the things I did at school without thinking of the things I could do here and now, in my lonely existence. I know full well that my sadness and my loneliness have to do with having nothing to be passionate at the moment, having nothing to keep me in love with the world. And yet, I don't know how I can adapt the list of simple, radical living, to inspire me today to make a difference. I'm not sure how I can be the answer to prayers in this place while I continue...
Read more

hippie me

I made a decision the other day. A friend of mine encouraged me to be proud of how I spend my time this summer, to plan things to look forward to, and in many ways to enjoy life. For awhile now I've waited on God to change this summer, and somehow I've forgotten that I have hands, feet, a heart, and a brain to change it too. And so I set out to make a list, a list that will bring joy, encouragement, and excitement to me as well as others. In many ways it's a simple list, consisting of smiling, leaving random notes of encouragement, and caring a trash bag around town to pick up the worlds litter. However, this list is helping me to find the passion for life that I felt I might have left at school in Virginia. Being so far from the God-loving, hippie culture of the past year is forcing me to come to terms with how I can love God's world and Her people in my own way. And this time, doing things like not-washing my hair, washing my clothes by hand, and building calluses on ...
Read more