a novel

i'm excited to share. i want to let people know what life was like. but i don't know where to start. people ask me questions like : "how was Chad?" or "what did you do?" or "tell me what you learned?" and i feel like i'm telling a single tale over and over again. there is so much more i want to share, but sometimes i feel like there is no way to bridge the gap. how can i talk about my experiences like getting accosted by shoe sales men, having my head fall off in class, or ripping my panier while teaching? so many good stories that are not getting told because they are so different. i don't expect people to make the jump to N'Djamena easily. but sometimes it would be nice to be able to talk to people without having to build that bridge first. sure i like to be exotic. i like it when people stare and comment about the yards of fabric tied around my head. but when people understand boule (like taylor), or know what it's like to fit th...

sometimes i scare myself. I read through what i have written, looking at my philosophical and theological questions, and i wonder: who is this girl? i know i'm beautiful, smart, passionate, and usually try to be pretty loving/compassionate. those are things i've come to accept. I'm learning that i will never fit the mold and that i had better stop trying. and sometimes, when i'm not thinking about it too much, i am trying my hand at simply being me. and then i get distracted by the lists of things i should be doing. this week i have taken a time out. i have restrained from too much thought, i have read 11 books of young adult fantasy (Tamara Pierce), and i have caught up on tv shows. i have enjoyed the afternoon sunshine and the comfort of curling up with a blanket in the evenings. i have been at peace. and i wonder that i do not feel overly guilty for my time of solace. today i will confront the me i was 4 months ago. the me i can see in the blog entries from my fall....

Today was a different day. Here are a list of things i did that i hadn't experienced in four months (and by the way, that sentence is negative past perfect): i spoke english in a coffee shop. i walked into a coffee shop. i asked someone to turn on the heat. my feet are cold. i slept without a mosquito net. i'm wearing a sweater and long fleece pants. i'm cold enough to need tea. it's cloudy and wet outside. there is green grass instead of sand. people drive more than 30 mph. there are no mottos or donkeys or people on the streets. i had strawberries and prepackaged chicken breasts for dinner. the dog's food comes from a can. the milk comes from a cow and needs to stay in the fridge. the internet moves faster than i do. my computer can stay plugged into the wall without fear of a power serge. i don't have to worry about power or solar or running water. i talked to people in real time online. i had to explain how to tie a panier on your head. i didn't shake so...