me

sometimes i scare myself. I read through what i have written, looking at my philosophical and theological questions, and i wonder: who is this girl?
i know i'm beautiful, smart, passionate, and usually try to be pretty loving/compassionate. those are things i've come to accept. I'm learning that i will never fit the mold and that i had better stop trying. and sometimes, when i'm not thinking about it too much, i am trying my hand at simply being me. and then i get distracted by the lists of things i should be doing.
this week i have taken a time out. i have restrained from too much thought, i have read 11 books of young adult fantasy (Tamara Pierce), and i have caught up on tv shows. i have enjoyed the afternoon sunshine and the comfort of curling up with a blanket in the evenings. i have been at peace. and i wonder that i do not feel overly guilty for my time of solace.
today i will confront the me i was 4 months ago. the me i can see in the blog entries from my fall. the passionate, energetic, go getter. i wonder how the rested me, the one whose working on being, how this me will interact with that one. but that seems a little self centered.

Comments

  1. CrystalApril 16, 2011 at 11:50 AM

    Oh, Bekah :) I have so many different sides of me that I often haven't known which is really me. I've come to accept the fact that it is ALL me.

    I'm looking forward to seeing how you have changed because it is impossible to always stay the same. YOU whoever you were, you are, or will be doesn't really matter, being YOURSELF (whoever you feel you are at that moment) is what counts.

    But I do understand that it could be difficult so I'm praying that you will confront the past you and God will use that to help you develop into an even better you.

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