a novel

change is coming. i feel it in the wind. in the nights of confusing and jumbled dreams. in the last minute errands. in all the sad, heartfelt, and awkward good byes. in the laundry basket that needs to be empty and the suitcase that needs to be full. i'm at peace. i'm nostalgic. i'm nervous. and of course i'm terrified. terrified of the courses that will challenge me, the responsibilities that will demand so much from me, and the relationships that will have changed. i'm scared that the community i have been planning for, dreaming of, and imagining in my head for almost 12 months will fall short. that others will have different expectations. i am terrified that i will not be content with what comes. i'm saddened that i must leave this place where i have been at home for the past 4 months. the relationships i am building here. the church community that is much bigger and stabler than the one i hope to be apart of at school. the garden produce i helped to plan...

this past week i found myself volunteering at a day camp in Winnipeg's inner city. While i have in fact been working with kids for the past month, i was almost terrified when anticipating the events of this week. the stories from the extremely challenging and draining experience the rest of my coworkers remembered from two years ago didn't help matters much. and so i approached the week with a mindset of prayer. i knew that i would need it. and the devotionals led each morning by one of the day camp's staff where all about letting god work through us. though the theology was a lot more charismatic than i am used to, i tried to take the message to heart. i was placed in a group with three amazing aboriginal girls: 6, 7, and 8. they loved to cling to me, and i much appreciated the love they poured on me, but they also loved to run off and challenge my authority. i spent a lot of my time chasing after them and trying to keep them from fighting, complaining, or getting hurt. un...