energy.

my noise is stuffed and my head hurts a little. it is Sunday morning, and something inside of me did not want to go to church. I don't know where the lethargy comes from. The past few days i have dragged myself out of bed after 10 hours of sleep. And then dosed off later while reading textbooks.
the weather is beautiful, but to enjoy it takes the energy of opening the door and stepping out. courage. oh courage, where have thoust hidden thyself?
i simply want to curl up with someone, i really don't care who, and watch movie after movie so that the desire to make sense of myself and my life is mummified under pretense of pleasure.
i want to disappear for a time, to step off the earth with someone who is dedicated to loving me first, but i have a hard time finding, or believing i deserve, that someone.
i want to sleep until i have energy to sing and dance and shout. and read. and research. and write wonderful papers and articles.
i think i'll take a walk.

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