questions

I have had a lot of emotional energy this weekend. I have had a few dance parties, random giggleness, a pillow fight, a door slamming party, an attempt to do homework that end up with a page full of frustrated notes and a random collage, a movie on the porch, a lot of random noise making, a lot of tea, a game of settles, and an hour this afternoon where i sat down and simply wrote out my questions.
Here are some of them:
What am I here for? What am I doing? Am I being called to more than I am living? Can I do more than ask questions? Do I need to do more? Will God use the questions? Why do all the questions add together?
Am I really living or am i just pretending? Why do I feel the need to be validated? Why can't i sing alone? why can't i make the story be about others? why do i always try to steal the spotlight?
Where is God working? Have I also been working on my life? Why are there so many questions? Where is God in all of this? If I were to believe what I want to believe, would it make a difference?
Is there something wrong with flirtation? Do I truly believe that God is working through everything? Does believing that mean that I have the commission to be involved? And how am I called to live out that commitment here and now? Where does the EMU bubble fit in?
How do I go to God with these questions? And is my tongue in my cheek?

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