despite us
A lesson I have been learning this summer, one that has been crystallizing over the past week and finally solidified yesterday is this: God works... No, God is working, in spite of us.
(WARNING: I might sound like a self-righteous prick as I explain the lesson I am learning... bear with me, I will get to that eventually.)
I have been working with an organizational in Washington DC this summer called Action for Peace through Prayer and Aid. I have helped write and edit their public statements, and I can tell you they look good on paper. But in actuality I have been less than impressed with the program, the theology, the atmosphere. Those feelings of disappointment and frustration came to a head with the youth camps that began almost 3 weeks ago. I felt frustrated by the lack of order, concerned that the kids were not getting a meaningful experience, and horrified by the indoctrination they were receiving when there was a program.
I listened to the definition of a Christian from a middle school student yesterday. "Someone claiming the Christian religion. Who believes in Jesus Christ and that he died and rose again." I chaffed that nothing was said about following Jesus, about modeling ourselves after Jesus.
I heard a student ask: "WWJD?" the horrific over popularized saying, "what would Jesus do?" I shook my head and argued to myself that it is not about what Jesus would do, and not even so much about asking what did Jesus do, but instead asking "What is God doing and where can I get involved in that?"
I watched the 23 kids prepare to impersonate the homeless "them" in an attempt to understand them. I listened as the us-them divide was intensified in the orientation for the "homeless experience." I judged extra hard when they were told they could not talk to anyone they encountered, but simply had to reflect on their existence from across the divide of racial, cultural, and economic status that had been fortified by their recent orientation.
After they left to spend the day at the park in silence, reflecting on the homeless image they were creating in their mind, I sat down to an interview with one of the deacons from the church that meets here on Sundays. The church and it's deacons are unique. The church is made up of mostly homeless and impoverished African Americans. The leadership are Korean "missionaries" from suburban churches. And the deacons are those members, formally homeless, who have turned their lives around and taken up responsibility in the church.
I had asked him to speak about church, about what this community meant to him, and to hear about stories from this church that I could write down and publish.
And his story of transformation was powerful.
I judge this organization so harshly sometimes, and I still think some of my judgments are accurate. (There are better ways to do things, we really should compost and why the F#### do we still use styrofoam?) However, hearing this deacon's story reminded me that God is still using this place for amazing things. God is still working here, even with all the flaws and messed up theology and mistranslation and environmental degradation.
And so maybe God is working in me too. I am a judgmental, self-righteous bitch a lot of the time. I have a significant portion of the curse of the young, thinking that I must always be right and others are wrong. I demand attention, I demand political correctness, and I often forget to give grace. But maybe if I give God space, God will still use me in God's transformation of the world.
God works. God is acting in spite of our mistakes. Give God space, or simply create space in which to become aware of God, and God will be working miracles.
(WARNING: I might sound like a self-righteous prick as I explain the lesson I am learning... bear with me, I will get to that eventually.)
I have been working with an organizational in Washington DC this summer called Action for Peace through Prayer and Aid. I have helped write and edit their public statements, and I can tell you they look good on paper. But in actuality I have been less than impressed with the program, the theology, the atmosphere. Those feelings of disappointment and frustration came to a head with the youth camps that began almost 3 weeks ago. I felt frustrated by the lack of order, concerned that the kids were not getting a meaningful experience, and horrified by the indoctrination they were receiving when there was a program.
I listened to the definition of a Christian from a middle school student yesterday. "Someone claiming the Christian religion. Who believes in Jesus Christ and that he died and rose again." I chaffed that nothing was said about following Jesus, about modeling ourselves after Jesus.
I heard a student ask: "WWJD?" the horrific over popularized saying, "what would Jesus do?" I shook my head and argued to myself that it is not about what Jesus would do, and not even so much about asking what did Jesus do, but instead asking "What is God doing and where can I get involved in that?"
I watched the 23 kids prepare to impersonate the homeless "them" in an attempt to understand them. I listened as the us-them divide was intensified in the orientation for the "homeless experience." I judged extra hard when they were told they could not talk to anyone they encountered, but simply had to reflect on their existence from across the divide of racial, cultural, and economic status that had been fortified by their recent orientation.
After they left to spend the day at the park in silence, reflecting on the homeless image they were creating in their mind, I sat down to an interview with one of the deacons from the church that meets here on Sundays. The church and it's deacons are unique. The church is made up of mostly homeless and impoverished African Americans. The leadership are Korean "missionaries" from suburban churches. And the deacons are those members, formally homeless, who have turned their lives around and taken up responsibility in the church.
I had asked him to speak about church, about what this community meant to him, and to hear about stories from this church that I could write down and publish.
And his story of transformation was powerful.
I judge this organization so harshly sometimes, and I still think some of my judgments are accurate. (There are better ways to do things, we really should compost and why the F#### do we still use styrofoam?) However, hearing this deacon's story reminded me that God is still using this place for amazing things. God is still working here, even with all the flaws and messed up theology and mistranslation and environmental degradation.
And so maybe God is working in me too. I am a judgmental, self-righteous bitch a lot of the time. I have a significant portion of the curse of the young, thinking that I must always be right and others are wrong. I demand attention, I demand political correctness, and I often forget to give grace. But maybe if I give God space, God will still use me in God's transformation of the world.
God works. God is acting in spite of our mistakes. Give God space, or simply create space in which to become aware of God, and God will be working miracles.
beautiful. keep watching and learning.
ReplyDelete