humbling

"Humbling. That is the name for this season." Due to a blessed twist of fate I got to visit EMU this past weekend. I can't tell you how many people asked me for an update on my time in DC, my internship, and the Washington Community Scholars Center (my program/house/community for the semester.) And the catch phrase I repeated was that I was being humbled and stretched. Being back in DC for only a few hours after my weekend away, I have already been humbled - knocked down from my pedestal by God or others - in more than one conversation. I was repeating honesty to my inquisitive friends: this is a season of humbling.

Humbling comes about when I enter a situation with certain set of assumptions, and then am paying enough attention to the dynamics to watch the assumptions fall apart under my feet. I don't have a history of taking humbling experiences well. I fight, I challenge, I hold to the assumptions with a tight fist and sometimes have a fit that ends with a broken closet door (ask me about that story sometime... it was not my best moment).  I usually attribute my difficulty with humbling situations to my natural capacity for passion - sometimes I even label it as a strength of character by calling it conviction.

But this summer I had a revelation about humility and strength. Holding convictions isn't mutually exclusive to being able to accept humbling experiences gracefully. And I began to pray earnestly that I might be open to humbling experiences and maintain my own strength of character. This could not have been a more fitting prayer for my time in DC this semester.

The assumptions I bring to activism, to community living, to social change, to justice issues, to faith, etc are all being stretched and prodded. And amazingly, I  have been open to the challenges and have embraced the humbling experiences with joy and excitement. Against all odds, I am learning to be humbled gracefully. It is a beautiful season.

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