Reflections on the cold.

It's snowing. It's been snowing pretty much every day for about a week now. Or maybe more. And at the  moment, I am learning to be okay with that.
It's actually quite beautiful. Especially from where I sit on the couch by the Christmas tree, sipping hot tea from my thermos, and avoiding my school work.
It's also quite adorable when it's covering the nose of my lovely black lab, and when he throws in in the air and tries to eat it as I take him out back with me on my way to feed the chickens.
And it's not as cold as it could be, I tell myself when I stumble out of bed every morning to put on my two pairs of pants, my woolen socks, a sweater, a knitted hat, a scarf, a winter coat, snow boots and mittens, in order to acquiesce to the demands of a needy puppy who wants to pee.
I've been reflecting on my common distaste for this season. I read a wonderful advent post about the coming of seasonal darkness the other day (if you want to read it, check out https://onbeing.org/blog/all-creation-waits/) and I keep wondering if I will be able to keep the despair at bay. If by engaging with the cold, forcing myself to find beauty in it, I will keep positive.
And then I remember that this is just the beginning. The lead up to Christmas, when the world is full of hope and my life is full of the anticipation of joy. There is a Christmas tree in the corner, and lights on the mantel. There is celebration and family and baking to do. There is currently so much joy, that why shouldn't the snow be beautiful, adorable, acceptable?
It is the season that comes after the new year which really terrifies me. When the promise of longer days doesn't bring more warmth. When the cold and snow keeps coming, when the hope of spring is too far away. Those are the days that terrify me. Will the snow be beautiful then? Will I still appreciate the joy of Curzon when he leaps and bounds in the drifts? Will I continue to wake up for our morning walks, if not with joy, than at least with acceptance? Or will the dread and despair descend?
But for now, I'll listen to Christmas carols, be proud that I walked 45 minutes home from school in -8C, and take the snowy days as they come.

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