Spring into Mental Health

Spring arrived this week in Southern Ontario. The leaves might not be on the trees yet, but the bulbs are up, the crocuses are blooming, and the 10 day forecast doesn't fill me with one ounce of dread. I am amazed every year by how this change shifts my self image and mental health. 

Last week, when we had the (hopefully last) snow storm of the winter, I responded by hibernating on the couch with Netfilx. I continually scanned the 10 day forecast, searching for hope that warmth and joy would in fact come, and was continually disappointed as the promised warm temperatures moved further and further into the future. All motivation to be productive on my writing and life tasks dissipated once I couldn't confirm that the warm weather and snow melting would in fact come. 

And then this past Saturday the weather warmed. While it is logical that spring would eventually bring warmth, my heart couldn't maintain that hope without obvious proof. So when the sun came out on Saturday and the snow began to melt (once again), I went outside with very tentative hope that I might actually be okay. 

And now, after a week of temperatures in the positive double digits (Celsius people), my soul is singing. I am more confident, more productive, more satisfied, more active, and much, much more happy. And it's not just the extra vitamin D from being outside - it's the weight that's been lifted when I no longer carry around the dread that the threat of cold weather creates in me. 

Maybe it's natural, maybe it's a result of living too long in the cold of Manitoba, or the warmth and early springs of Virginia, and it's certainly irrational (what is there to be afraid of when I have heat, sweaters, warm showers, a cuddly puppy and a cuddly husband to warm me up?)  - but this dread is a weight I carry through the winter, beginning with the first snowfall in November. And when spring finally arrives, the dread dissipates, and I can finally enjoy life without the added weight of fearing the cold. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Reflection on Mothering

The second Sunday of May. May 13, 2012. International Mothers Day. My planner tells me it is celebrated in USA, CAN, AUS, NZL. Very international. (note the sarcasm).  I have noticed mother's day come and go several times. I pride myself on never forgetting the culturally mandatory, and always rewarding, phone call to my mother, even when she is across the globe. Often I call my grandmother and single aunt as well - they too have been mothers in my life.  This year, however, I was struck by how Mother's Day, with it's focus on gift giving and flowers designed both to empower the economy and praise feminine domesticity, losses sight of the character of mothering.  I celebrated Mother's Day with "The House of Peace," a church community run through Fourth Street Community Fellowship (Virginia Mennonite Conference) for the impoverished and homeless of inner city Washington, D.C. In honor of thee occasion, Rev. Sang Jin Choi asked members to share test...
Read more

change

read this : http://www.thesimpleway.org/resources/details/50-ways-to-become-the-answer-to-our-prayers/. I did. And while I knew it was a call to change, I kept checking off all the things I already do. I hate that somehow, in my mind, the few things on that list I have done or do, like laughing at advertisements or writing someone in prison, seem to justify my fears of actually sacrificing something to make a difference. Here, at this point in my life, when I have all the time in the world, I read that list and check off the things I did at school without thinking of the things I could do here and now, in my lonely existence. I know full well that my sadness and my loneliness have to do with having nothing to be passionate at the moment, having nothing to keep me in love with the world. And yet, I don't know how I can adapt the list of simple, radical living, to inspire me today to make a difference. I'm not sure how I can be the answer to prayers in this place while I continue...
Read more

hippie me

I made a decision the other day. A friend of mine encouraged me to be proud of how I spend my time this summer, to plan things to look forward to, and in many ways to enjoy life. For awhile now I've waited on God to change this summer, and somehow I've forgotten that I have hands, feet, a heart, and a brain to change it too. And so I set out to make a list, a list that will bring joy, encouragement, and excitement to me as well as others. In many ways it's a simple list, consisting of smiling, leaving random notes of encouragement, and caring a trash bag around town to pick up the worlds litter. However, this list is helping me to find the passion for life that I felt I might have left at school in Virginia. Being so far from the God-loving, hippie culture of the past year is forcing me to come to terms with how I can love God's world and Her people in my own way. And this time, doing things like not-washing my hair, washing my clothes by hand, and building calluses on ...
Read more