500 pages of summer reading

As a part of my internship I am supposed to read 500 pages. 500 pages is nothing for a honors, junior, history major. Have you ever taken a Mary Sprunger class? Often she will ask you to read 500 pages for one class period (or at least in one week).

But I have wanted these 500 pages to be meaningful. To be challenging. And to be unusual. Books that I would not usually read for fun or class. So while I am reading Shakespear on my own time, I clock the hours I read books on ministry and discipleship that might be out of date, that I might not agree with, and that I am trying to be open to learning from. And the two I have read so far have been a smashing success.I live in a room in room with three wall length bookshelves. Scanning the room, I see titles ranging from "When God was a Woman" to "The Ends of Power" and "The Timeline History of Islam," "Tolerance, Restoration of Morality and Humanity," "Slaves, Sabbath, War & Woman," "Sacremet of Sexuality," etc. There are many books I want to read, others I almost want to shred (shame on me! a book lover discussing the shredding of books!). So the selection of those to read as part of my 500 pages is a challenge. 

The first book I pulled from the shelf was published in 1978. In typical 70's style, the front is decorated with a bold rainbow. "Making the Small Church Effective" by Carl S. Dudley. 

In reading “Making the Small Church Effective,” I have been challenged to examine my own conceptions of what church is and how the church community is measured “successful.” I had assumed my time here this summer would be to assist with church programs and worship, and yet I am finding myself working less in those roles than I had anticipated. Yet, Dudley’s book reflects on how the programs, while they might be seen as beneficial and essential by the denomination, the pastor, and the large church, are not at the heart of a small church. Dudley asserts that “a small, caring, single-cell church has a different definition of success” (66). At the heart of the small church are the relationships, and thus the most important thing I find myself doing on Sunday mornings is building relationships. And these relationships are blossoming. 

I have also been struck by Dudley’s discussion of the church’s role as one of coping instead of conquering (121). He discusses how an image of a conquering does not suggest longevity, while a coping church knows how to survive and even thrive in all circumstances.  

When Dudley got dull, because it is about church administration after all, I picked up a more modern book, one that tempted me from the title "The Radical Disciple," by John Stott. I almost put it down after a few pages though, when I noted the strong conservative undertones. I was fascinated with his description of radicals as "those whose opinions went to the root, ad who were throughgoing in their commitment"  (17) and intrigued by his discussion on nonconformity. However, when he applied nonconformity to a definition of ethical relativism in a way that made Christain love selective (23) and discussed the concept of self love and respect as tied narcissism (23), something to be avoided at all costs, I was thoroughly frustrated. I honestly considered putting the book away and choosing another. 

However, a conversation in which I discussed my own radical tendencies with some close friends came back to me.  In the words of a friend (paraphrased), I come off as "intellectual and opinionated" because I care about people. "You are very vocal about what you believe. It comes across like you could't understand why others wouldn't believe that way. Take the homosexuality issue: you are so passionate because you have a capacity for great emotion, and you genuinely care about the people who are suffering." 

I realized that my compassion for those who have suffered from the theology that Stott believes was keeping me from engaging his story and message as an author. I prayed for openness and a willingness to engage. And I picked up the book again. 

I kept reading because I wanted to be open to what Stott might be able to teach me.  The more I read, the more Stott’s faith and dedication to God, and not his theology, became the focus of my reflection. I reflected a lot about my own journey as a disciple, about how I practice my faith daily, etc. Reading Stott has encouraged me daily to renew my focus on serving and imitating God in my work.

And that brings me to 310 pages. In four weeks, I wouldn't say that it has been a great challenge to get the pages read. But I excited about the things I have learned. And excited to go back to the shelves and pull another book. What mysteries and questions will the next one contain?